Stop the Loss!

I’ve been a Christ follower since age 16. Somebody in my home church (Pearl Road Church of God, Cleveland, Ohio) must have done something right, because I was fully grafted into the Body of Christ and have never left the church, nor even thought about leaving the church. Sadly, my story isn’t typical. The fact of the matter is that churches in America lose most of their own kids. I could (but won’t) point you to study after study that all verify the same thing: we lose anywhere between 50% and 80% of our own young people. L

Not a very good discipling record. If a business lost that many of its customers, it wouldn’t be a business very long!

So when I was a pastor (1975-84), and ever since becoming a professor (in September 1984), one of my chief concerns has been how to stop the loss. How to hold onto our own. How to keep kids from leaving the church, which often means leaving the faith. So you can imagine how my interest was piqued when I saw “3 Common Traits of Youth Who Don’t Leave the Church.” You should read the entire article, but the three common traits are:

1.      They are converted.

2.      They have been equipped, not entertained.

3.      Their parents preached the gospel to them.

Here are my thoughts.

FIRST (They are converted):

It’s not enough just to go to church. We must disciple our young people; we must bring them to a point of being converted, saved, transformed by God’s love. You see, my concern has nothing to do with going to church. It has to do with discipling young people! So parents, pastors, Sunday school teachers, youth counselors, and everyone else who is in a relationship with youth and children really need to point them to Christ and nurture them toward conversion.

Note that we can’t and don’t save or convert anyone. That is the Holy Spirit’s work. But we must move beyond the mentality of “getting them to church,” and into the mentality of “bringing them to Jesus.” They need to be saved.

SECOND (They have been equipped, not entertained):

I fear that much of today’s “youth ministry” is built on an entertainment model. Churches see what kids get at rock concerts and try to provide the same thing on Sunday and Wednesday. Many – not all – churches try to attract and hold young people with entertainment values from Hollywood and Broadway, and the result is that most kids leave the church. It’s time – well, it’s past time – for a new model. A model that equips young Christians for a life of discipleship.

I have been personally involved in a 21-year experiment of equipping youth and children as disciples at Maple Grove Church of God. We started a mid-week intergenerational ministry called LOGOS in 1993, and I’m pleased to report that our attendance statistics reveal that we lose only 36% of the kids who have participated. Am I satisfied with a 36% loss? No way! But it’s a whale of a lot better than the percentage lost by the average Protestant church in America, and nobody has yet found a more effective model of equipping children and teens for a life of discipleship! So while I grieve the 36% 

loss, I’ll take this result over anything else that’s ever been tried.

THIRD (Their parents preached the gospel to them):

I certainly wouldn’t state it the same way, but I do want to mention a couple of salient points:

1.      “Their parents” – plural. Parents, with an “s” on the end. Not “mother” or “father,” parents. Please know that I am not denigrating single parents – many of them are doing a fantastic job! – I am simply raising a point that might go unnoticed, that children who live in a home with an intact marriage have a distinct advantage. And if that intact marriage is also loving, caring, and supportive – so much the better!

PARENTS – The best thing you can do for your children might be to love your spouse well. (And I understand that some spouses aren’t safe to live with and divorce might be the least bad option, so don’t beat me up over this, please.J) 

2.      “Preached the gospel” is the part that I wouldn’t say. Preaching is a special calling from God with its own set of spiritual gifts, skills, preparation, etc. But the meaning of that phrase is right on target! Their parents taught them about God the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Spirit. Their parents loved them and modeled Christ for them. Their parents were disciples (Christ followers) and led them to accept Christ and follow Him too. There is no escaping the spiritual responsibility of Christian parents. Period.

So for me, the bottom line is this: The church cannot do it alone. Parents cannot do it alone. There must be a strategic partnership between the church and the family if we are to stop the loss. We need each other, and God calls us to work together for the salvation and discipling of every child born into our families. Into our biological families, and into the Family of God. Stop the loss!