How Disciples Handle Conflict

A few days ago, I got involved in a social media dust-up with a good friend. He posted something and I responded. I thought nothing of it, but my response rattled his cage. He was surprised by my response, so he contacted me privately to ask if we could talk.

Talk we did. He explained himself and I explained myself. And we resolved our issue; our friendship was intact. Talking face to face, reading body language, hearing tone of voice, we were much better able to communicate than through social media.

And I got to thinking about his action. Surprised by my response, he asked if we could talk. He asked if we could talk. He did exactly what Jesus commanded in Matthew 18:15-20:

“If a fellow believer hurts you, go and tell him—work it out between the two of you. If he listens, you’ve made a friend. If he won’t listen, take one or two others along so that the presence of witnesses will keep things honest, and try again. If he still won’t listen, tell the church. If he won’t listen to the church, you’ll have to start over from scratch, confront him with the need for repentance, and offer again God’s forgiving love. Take this most seriously: A yes on earth is yes in heaven; a no on earth is no in heaven. What you say to one another is eternal. I mean this. When two of you get together on anything at all on earth and make a prayer of it, my Father in heaven goes into action. And when two or three of you are together because of me, you can be sure that I’ll be there.”

The Message

 And that is how disciples handle conflict! When we make a practice of what Jesus told us to do, “go and tell him—work it out between the two of you” works; it really works! But when we don’t make a habit of this, “going and telling” becomes hard, and few who name themselves Christians actually do it.

Ever since I discovered this peacemaking, reconciling teaching, I have tried to practice it. I’m sure that my practice has been less than perfect. I’m sure that I’ve missed the mark at least a few times. But “going and telling” has always been my hope and my goal. And when my friend did it, it warmed my heart.

One final observation: Note Jesus’ promise in verse 20, “And when two or three of you are together because of me, you can be sure that I’ll be there.” How many times have we Christians taken that verse out of its context? For example, when the weather is bad, and only a handful of people show up for church, we often hear something like, “Well, let’s go ahead and have church, because Jesus said whenever two or three gather in my name!”

True enough, Jesus did say that. And I believe it. But take a look at the context – He made that heart-warming promise at the end of his teaching on how to handle conflict! What we have here is the solemn promise of the Son of God that whenever two or three of His disciples get together to resolve conflict that He will be there! Glory to God! We need not be afraid to “go and tell” because Jesus Christ himself will be right there with us as we work it out. No fear!

So my fellow disciple, next time “a fellow believer hurts you, go and tell him—work it out between the two of you.” You have Jesus’ word that He will be there.