We do not live to ourselves. . . . we live to the Lord.

I’m not very old, relatively speaking; I’ve only been around for 65 years, so in the grand scheme of things I’m really not that old. In my short time on this earth, I have never seen social change as rapid as the gay marriage change that is sweeping our country. I saw the civil rights movement, the women’s movement, etc. And each of them took many years – decades, in fact. But, for a variety of reasons, the current social change is the fastest I’ve ever seen. And it comes under the umbrella of the much larger topic of human sexuality (heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, transgender, you name it).

As denomination after denomination deals with this issue, the inevitable result seems to be church splits. Good people on different sides of the issue take their stand, dig in their heels, and form splinter groups.

Might I offer an alternative to denominational splits and backroom political maneuvers? It seems to me that a Christ follower might want to consider the 14^th chapter of Paul’s Letter to the Romans:

Welcome those who are weak in faith, but not for the purpose of quarreling over opinions. Some believe in eating anything, while the weak eat only vegetables. Those who eat must not despise those who abstain, and those who abstain must not pass judgment on those who eat; for God has welcomed them. Who are you to pass judgment on servants of another? It is before their own lord that they stand or fall. And they will be upheld, for the Lord is able to make them stand.

Some judge one day to be better than another, while others judge all days to be alike. Let all be fully convinced in their own minds. Those who observe the day, observe it in honor of the Lord. Also those who eat, eat in honor of the Lord, since they give thanks to God; while those who abstain, abstain in honor of the Lord and give thanks to God.

We do not live to ourselves, and we do not die to ourselves. If we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord; so then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord’s. For to this end Christ died and lived again, so that he might be Lord of both the dead and the living.

Why do you pass judgment on your brother or sister? Or you, why do you despise your brother or sister? For we will all stand before the judgment seat of God. For it is written, “As I live, says the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall give praise to God.” So then, each of us will be accountable to God.

Let us therefore no longer pass judgment on one another, but resolve instead never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of another. I know and am persuaded in the Lord Jesus that nothing is unclean in itself; but it is unclean for anyone who thinks it unclean. If your brother or sister is being injured by what you eat, you are no longer walking in love. Do not let what you eat cause the ruin of one for whom Christ died. So do not let your good be spoken of as evil. For the kingdom of God is not food and drink but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. The one who thus serves Christ is acceptable to God and has human approval. Let us then pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding. 

Do not, for the sake of food, destroy the work of God. Everything is indeed clean, but it is wrong for you to make others fall by what you eat; it is good not to eat meat or drink wine or do anything that makes your brother or sister stumble. The faith that you have, have as your own conviction before God. Blessed are those who have no reason to condemn themselves because of what they approve. But those who have doubts are condemned if they eat, because they do not act from faith; for whatever does not proceed from faith is sin (NRSV).

Yes, I know that Paul was writing about the morality of eating food that had been offered as sacrifices to pagan idols. Today’s LGBTQ issues were not on his radar; they didn’t even exist in the first century. I get that. But read this text deeply. And look at his main points:

1.      Do not quarrel over opinions.

2.      Some believers accept things that other (he calls them weaker) believers cannot accept.

3.      The two must not despise each other.

4.      None of us is to pass judgment on fellow believers.

5.      We do not live to ourselves, and we do not die to ourselves. If we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord; so then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord’s.

6.      We should resolve never to put a stumbling block in the way of another.

7.      Anything is clean or unclean for the one who thinks it so.

8.      If your brother or sister is being injured by anything you do, you are no longer walking in love.
9.      Do not let your behavior cause the ruin of one for whom Christ died.

10.  Let us then pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding.

11.  Do not, for the sake of your conscience, destroy the work of God.

Eleven pretty good, pretty strong, and pretty clear points. And I think they apply to many (perhaps all?) conscience questions, including this one. It seems to me that the underlying principles are:

1.      Love for every person for whom Christ died.

2.      Respect for every person for whom Christ died.

3.      Pursuit of peace and mutual upbuilding.

4.      Willingness to put aside one’s personal preferences for the spiritual good of another.

Before you beat me up over this, know that I have read and studied the biblical passages about homosexuality. My conclusions are, first, that the Bible makes it clear that homosexual practice is not consistent with Christian living. Period. And I am aware that people of good will disagree with me on this.

Second, that this issue is not really very important in the grand scheme of things, because the Bible talks a whole lot about God’s love for all of humanity, a whole lot about our responsibility to care for the poor and the oppressed, and very little about homosexuality.

And third, because there is no record that Jesus ever spoke of this issue (he spoke most often about our possessions and how we use them), I conclude that if this issue were really important, at least one of the Gospel writers would have included whatever, if anything, Jesus may have said about it. Near the end of his Gospel, John wrote that “Jesus did many other signs in the presence of his disciples, which are not written in this book. But these are written so that you may come to believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that through believing you may have life in his name” (20:30-31). My conclusion is that the fourth Gospel writer (and likely the first three!) made some strategic choices of what to include and what to omit, and that the most important things for our salvation were written down. Therefore, homosexuality is not all that important for our salvation.

So, knowing exactly what I’m doing, I humbly offer a paraphrase of Romans 12, changing the issue from the original to the current.

Welcome those whose beliefs on homosexuality are different than your own, but not for the purpose of quarreling over opinions. Some believe in practices that you don’t believe in. Those who do must not despise those who don’t, and those who don’t must not pass judgment on those who do; for God has welcomed them. Who are you to pass judgment on servants of another? It is before their own lord that they stand or fall. And they will be upheld, for the Lord is able to make them stand.

Some judge one day to be better than another, while others judge all days to be alike. Let all be fully convinced in their own minds. Those who observe the day, observe it in honor of the Lord. And there are those who believe they practice one form of love in honor of the Lord, since they give thanks to God; and there are those who believe they practice another form of love in honor of the same Lord and give thanks to God. Who is able to judge whether one’s belief is more correct than the other?

We do not live to ourselves, and we do not die to ourselves. If we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord; so then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord’s. For to this end Christ died and lived again, so that he might be Lord of both the dead and the living.

Why do you pass judgment on your brother or sister? Or you, why do you despise your brother or sister? For we will all stand before the judgment seat of God. For it is written, “As I live, says the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall give praise to God.” So then, each of us will be accountable to God.

Let us therefore no longer pass judgment on one another, but resolve instead never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of another. I know and am persuaded in the Lord Jesus that nothing is unclean in itself; but it is unclean for anyone who thinks it unclean. If your brother or sister is being injured by what you believe and practice sexually, you are no longer walking in love. Do not let your sexual beliefs and practices cause the ruin of one for whom Christ died. So do not let your good be spoken of as evil. For the kingdom of God is not sexual belief and practice but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. The one who thus serves Christ is acceptable to God and has human approval. Let us then pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding. 

Do not, for the sake of sexual belief and practice, destroy the work of God. Everything is indeed clean, but it is wrong for you to make others fall by what you do; it is good not to practice certain sexual acts or do anything that makes your brother or sister stumble. The faith that you have, have as your own conviction before God. Blessed are those who have no reason to condemn themselves because of what they approve. But those who have doubts are condemned if they behave in certain ways, because they do not act from faith; for whatever does not proceed from faith is sin (JHA, based on NRSV).

We do not live to ourselves. . . . we live to the Lord. Peace and joy and righteousness in the Holy Spirit to you and to all. I welcome your comments.